


No Pets On The Moon

by CinnamonBirdAnon



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonBirdAnon/pseuds/CinnamonBirdAnon
Summary: Ok so first time writing any of these fools, so be kind please ;w; This is to my headcanon that reapers can shift into large ravens to hide in flocks of ravens in cemeteries so when the necrobitches show up they stir up the flock and while the necromancers are distracted they arrest them. Reapers are larger than normal ravens with brightly coloured eyes so they can be told apart from the Raven Queen’s random ravens.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	No Pets On The Moon

No dogs on the moon. No problem. This wasn’t a dog, after all, and it wasn’t a pet. This was his god damn boyfriend.

The first time Magnus saw the bird on Taako’s shoulder was a good while after they started sneaking Kravitz in. His eyes seemed to light up as he hurried over and exclaimed “ Where’d you get a crow, Taako?”, as if hoping that Lucretia would be allowing pets on the moon.

“ What crow?” Taako asked, startled by the man who had just ran over to him. Kravitz moved to hide a bit more behind Taako’s head, but he was a very large raven- It was to help the Raven Queen figure out which were a reaper and which just one of the ravens who flocked to her. The reapers were pretty big in size comparison.

“ The crow on your shoulder! Where’d you get her? What’s her name? Are we allowed pets now?”

“ I have no clue what you’re talking about, big guy.” Taako said, hurrying into his room before Magnus could ask more questions.

Taako had been sneaking Kravitz into his room so they could hang out and not deal with people panicking about a grim reaper being out in public with the elf. They had thought the Chug and Squeeze was a good sign they’d be able to hang out in public- boy were they wrong. Kravitz has taken Taako planetside to a large market in Gold Cliff. People parted like Kravitz had the plague, his sheer presence making people think shit was going to go down. Some venders even panicked and ran when the two stopped to look at goods.

So, no. They didn’t exactly have a different place to hang out. It was Taako’s room or nothing, and the second wasn’t an option. Ripping portals was loud and very obvious. So, Kravitz did it in an alley of the Bureau as to cut back on noise. Taako’s room wasn’t the biggest, and also it was a bit rude to just portal into people’s homes KRAVITZ.

The next day Taako didn’t have his bird, which confused Magnus but didn’t stop him from asking about it, confusing Merle. “ I didn’t see him with any bird.” Merle pointed out “ Your eyes good, Magnus?”

“ My eyes are fine, thank you very much.” Magnus said, almost offended “ I saw him with a bird. A big crow. It kinda hid when it saw me approach, he had a bird! It hung out on his shoulder!”

“ Honestly, chaboy really doesn’t do birds. Beaty little eyes, weird toes. Doesn’t match my brand, Mag.” Taako said, internally panicking and hoping that Merle wouldn’t become more observant as well.

But he did, and he caught Taako with a large bird on his shoulder barely a week after. “ That is a massive crow, holy Pan!” He stared at the bird, just surprised at how large it was. Magnus tried to move towards and touch the raven, but it just switched shoulders until it hopped onto the back of the chair. Magnus’ eyes widened, now able to get a good look at the bird “ Wait a sec… it’s a raven! Taako, how the FUCK did you get a pet RAVEN?!”

“ I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Taako insisted, knowing better than to just head to his room and lock the door. The boys would be persistent with asking about it.

“ How can you tell? Looks like a crow to me.” Merle said, motioning to it. “ I can tell because I used to watch these guys and crows fight constantly. This is a BIG girl.”

Taako muttered something, making them look at him. “ Come again? Old ears don’t work too well, son.” Merle said, tilting an ear towards him and cupping it with his tree arm. “ I said.” Taako stood up, with the raven flying to his shoulder “ He isn’t a she.” Kravitz pecked at Taako’s shirt, a sign he wasn’t too happy Taako had broke and acknowledged him.

“ So you acknowledge the bird!” Magnus said like he had proven something. Taako rolled his eyes “ Yeah, now- uh- now don’t go squealing to the director.” more pecking “ Cause she already knows about chaboy’s boy. Anyways, imma go take a- uh- nap.” he said and headed to his room quickly.

“ Imma go talk to the director.” Magnus said, excitedly “ Maybe dogs on the moon is gonna finally happen!”

“ No dogs on the moon. No ANIMALS on the moon, Magnus.” Lucretia said sternly. Magnus slumped a bit in defeat, whining a “ But Taako has his raven!”

“… Taako has a what?”

By the time Lucretia was there to search their apartment for contraband ravens, Kravitz had headed out and didn’t even leave any feathers since he wasn’t a regular raven. Magnus had gotten distracted on the way to whine to Lucretia about Taako’s “pet”, so he and Taako had had plenty of time to cuddle and then for Taako to take him to that closet he opened his portals in. Without any proof Taako had a raven Lucretia just ended up lectured them on how animals on the moon was dangerous, blah blah blah.

The next week, Taako had his raven again. Except this time, he and Kravitz had talked about a plan. Taako was never good with sticking to plans. With his temporarily feathered boyfriend hiding in a tote, Taako didn’t go right to his room like planned. Instead, he put down the tote in front of his room mates and stood armed crossed. “ You two are dipshits, you know that?” He asked them.

“ Naturally.” Merle said calmly, shrugging it off.

“ Since I don’t want our boss snooping around, might as well tell you two. This isn’t regular raven, it’s my boyfriend.” Kravitz peeked out of the tote, still in raven form since it was too small a space to shift back.

“ You’re dating a raven?”

“ Wow. Ok. Didn’t expect you had that low perception.” Taako rolled his eyes “ He isn’t a raven. He’s just formed as one.”

“ Oh, so not a pet?” Magnus asked, staring at the bag “ Can I talk to him then?” He inched closer, getting serious. “ I mean, weird question but ok.” Taako said, unzipping the bag and letting Kravitz out. Before Kravitz could shift back to his normal form, Magnus grabbed him and made him look at him. “ You so much as lay a finger on Taako, you’re dead. Got it bird man?”

Taako rubbed his temples, shaking his head. Once he was put down on the ground, Kravitz again tried to shift but Merle grabbed him this time. “ That wasn’t just a Magnus promise either, bird boy. I’ll aim for your shins and it will HURT.” This time, friendlier hands grabbed Kravitz and removed him from Merle’s hold. “ Jeez guys, could you lay off chaboy’s boy?” Taako hissed, ears back until he looked at Kravitz to put him down away from any grabbing roommates so he could finally shift back to his human form.

To say Merle and Magnus paled at the sight of who they just threatened would be an understatement.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! First time back on here in a long time! If you didn't like something and have a suggestion on how I can improve, feel free to tell me! Also, I'm always open to prompts!
> 
> My tumblr is here   
> https://cinnamonbirdanon.tumblr.com/  
> and I post art occasionally! My ask box is always open!


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